I haven’t written in a while, primarily because nothing exciting has been happening. Though this might be a good thing because it means I am OK and not dead or injured. On that note my leg has healed fine and I am working more with several more job prospects on the way. But what I want to talk about now, and what will no doubt become a recurring theme, are the countryside people of Vietnam.
I have brought this topic up several times, in the mountain adventure, and the post about giving aid to third world nations on the political blog. As I have also mentioned, George’s wife, Quyen, is from the countryside as is Me Sow Baw Girl. What follows are some stories about life in the countryside and how it compares to the countryside of America.
For those that don’t know, George and I grew up in a rural area of Michigan. While Traverse City is certainly turning into the equivalent of a suburb without a major city, where we live is very much country. From my house, which is carved into the woods, you can see three barns and in the early spring the smell of cow manure permeates the air. Though my father doesn’t hunt, we had three guns in the house and George’s family had enough to invade a small country. Many of the kids we grew up with could drive a snowmobile well before they left grade school. I even had a friend whose father had a garage that was bigger than his house. Some of my fondest memories of high school were going two tracking with George, including the time he announced that he had obtained a Vietnamese girlfriend, which is what started this whole debacle.
If you head south of town, to areas like Kingsley, the number of people mainstream America would refer to as “redneck” grows exponentially. Personally that title is something I wear with pride, especially when dealing with stuck up suburbanites.
While there are many intelligent, hardworking, and law abiding people who inhabit these areas, who could be more aptly described as “country” than “redneck.” They are outnumbered probably 5 to 1. It is really no different in Vietnam.
This summer my cousin was living in Kingsley where his girlfriend worked at what could very much be considered a redneck bar, which I frequented a few times and had a blast. There were lots of fights, lots of drunks and lots of drama. Also most of these people considered themselves “good Christians” and were appalled by the idea that someone might be an atheist. Despite this nearly all the men, as well as many women, were frequently infidelitous to their spouses/girlfriends and nearly every night my cousin’s girlfriend had to fend off one married or taken man. The drama was also out of control, the things I heard these people say to their supposed friends, were so appalling that I could not even imagine a remotely similar exchange between my friends from U of M.
I bring all this up because the parallels to life in the countryside of Vietnam are pretty much equal. Here are a few examples. First Quyen’s father. The man kicked us out of the house at 5:00pm on what amounts to Christmas eve because the homeless kid we brought didn’t have proper manners. Seriously, I know guys that would do this up north. They are dumb and arrogant, and give everyone from the sticks a bad name. Then there is the spousal abuse, for some reason redneck guys, who with their big trucks and macho attitudes are trying to compensate for something, and often do so by hitting or verbally abusing their wives and girlfriends. This guy is no different apparently he went after Quyen’s mother with a knife or stick or something when she didn’t obey him. He also did not let her leave the house, even to go to temple. Fortunately, she has since moved to the “house” pictured below, which George helped her buy for $500.
The temple thing also brings up a good comparison, in the superstition category. Buddhism, at least how these people practice it, is absolutely absurd. If you love someone no matter how well you get along with them, or how good of a person you are, and your stars don’t line up, which are big balls of gas by the way, you can’t get married. Kind of like the religious right’s belief that if you love someone no matter how well you get along with them, or how good of a person you are, and they are of the same sex, you can’t get married. The luck thing is also ridiculous, certain things bring good luck certain things bring bad luck. I got news, that crap has little to do with the outcome of anything.
I have to say though the kids and women here are much worse off than those in America. Though I have met very few Vietnamese men who are not legitimate alcoholics and smoke like chimneys, women rarely engage in these activities, not because they don’t want to, but because it is taboo. As I mentioned in 25 things about Vietnam school is not free for everyone, especially in the countryside. George, his wife, Me Sow Baw girl, and I went out for coffee (on the site of the old Hanoi Hilton prison, part of which is now an office tower) and were discussing our various backgrounds. Quyen, had never been to school and prior to meeting George worked in a hotel in a resort town called Sapa, in the mountains, near her home. Me Sow Baw girl had left home at 14 to work various jobs in Hanoi.
It is very common for families to send their daughter away to make money at an early age, and expect them to send part of their income back home (the boys usually stay on the farm,or help with the family fishing operation). For those that don’t know George dropped out of high school then dropped out of the drop out school, then came to Vietnam. After hearing this (at coffee) I replied “wait am I the only one who actually graduated from high school here?” “YES!” was George’s reply then went back to discussing other matters. It reminded me of a conversation three of my college friends had walking back from a Michigan game some years back about grad school and someone said “I really wish I could put ‘valedictorian’ on these apps” to which the other two sighed “Yeah…”. I said “wait am I the only one here that WASN’T valedictorian?” “YES!” they all said in unison, and went back to talking about grad school.
Back to the drama, a recent story from Quyen’s sister, shows just how much like American rednecks these people are. Apparently what happened was this, her sister, who is pregnant and her husband were living with the husband’s family and his motorcycle was stolen. It turned out that the bike was stolen by the husband’s cousin, and sold the bike to buy heroin. Kind of like the time a kid George and I knew in elementary school, who is now in prison, stole his dad’s table saw and sold it to retool so he could buy a fifth of Captain Morgan.
Since there aren’t really any laws here, the police (who did find the bike) told the brother in law he would have to pay the man that bought the bike the money he paid the cousin for it to get it back. When the pregnant sister wanted to turn the cousin in, her husband’s Mom was so offended by the suggestion, she beat her and kicked them out of the house forcing them to live with Quyen’s Mom in the shack. I asked George how a Jerry Springeresq show would go over here, but he replied the government wouldn’t allow it.
Much like in America the more “affluent” city folk look down on these people. For example, the traditional Vietnamese Pipe and tobacco “Thouc Lao” is viewed as lower class and not smoked by anyone who considers themselves middle to upper class. I recently asked one of my corporate classes if they, or their parents smoked Thouc Lao and they reacted the way a bunch of East Coast aristocrats would if asked if they watched Nascar “cigarettes only!” was the reply. I responded “Well I like it, so I guess I am kind of nyeah quay” I was dressed nicer than any of them (a tailored suit) at the time, so they all thought this was very funny.
One final story that is sure to delight, as I mentioned in the mountain adventure, Quyen’s family’s bathroom is a hole in the ground. Quyen’s mother recently came to visit and upon seeing the “western” toilet inquired “how do you use this? it is too tall!” After reading the Mountain adventure story my Mother asked me, “So who has it better, them (nyeah quay) with a simple life, or us with a hectic one?” As Quyen’s Mom’s statement proves, the answer is most definitely US!
PS A follow up is coming soon about the good people of the countryside, this post was done primarily because I hear too many stories of how people in other countries are somehow better than Americans, when really people are pretty much the same all over.t
